My Favorite One-Star Reviews of National Parks Guaranteed to Get You Laughing

If you’ve ever used the internet, you’ve probably read some one-star reviews of national parks. As someone who visits them frequently and has also worked as a park ranger, reading the low reviews is one of my favorite past times. Sometimes they’re pretty serious, like rude staff or dirty restrooms. Other times, well, I’ll let you see for yourself. Keep scrolling for my favorite one-star reviews of national parks.

This post was updated on April 3, 2020. This page may contain affiliate links.

One-Star Reviews of Arches National Park

“Delicate arch looks like it might fall over at any time.  It might fall over in the future. Doesn’t look anything like the license plate.” – Lisa V. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Big Bend National Park

“They didn’t expect to get any electricity for at least half a week. Have you ever camped with a woman for half a week where there is no available warm running water anywhere? They start to stink. And complain. And to top it off we never got to see any bears or mountain lions. You’d think with a park that size and such low populations of those critters they could train them to hang out 100 yards or so from the trails and stuff, but apparently our government is too incompetent to even pull off some basic services.” – Covin M. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park

“Nothing special.” – Local 50 on Trip Advisor

One-Star Reviews of Carlsbad Caverns National Park

“Unless you find big caves and rocks overwhelmingly fascinating then skip this.” – Stephen M. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Congaree National Park

“They need to spray for bugs. To many trees, they should consider removing all trees.” – Brittney F. on Yelp

“Watch out for snakes and spiders… there are venomous spiders and some unknown flying insects that don’t look too friendly.” – Petrstepanov on Trip Advisor

One-Star Reviews of Crater Lake National Park

“Ok yes the water is very blue. And then also the water is quite blue, not to mention that the water is very blue… Mosquitos ate the whole family alive, we left after 1 hour.” – DL on Yelp

“Couldn’t even see the lake in June because of fog and snow.” – Runnerwitt on Trip Advisor

“They will charge $10 just to see fog & snow.” – KatvanJ on Trip Advisor

One-Star Reviews of Death Valley National Park

“Don’t waste your time!!  I have lived in places ranging from by the ocean to the desert, and I have to say this is the ugliest place I have ever seen.  Most deserts at least have some color to them, creating their own special beauty, not here, there is a bit of color near the entrance, and a tiny bit inside, otherwise…  I paid $20 for nothing but nasty rock and salt…” – Tony G. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Denali National Park & Preserve

“If you’ve been to the Rockies or Sierra Nevadas, Meh. Unless you are gung ho for wildlife.” – Steve L. on Trip Advisor

“Nothing to do.”  – Robert H. on Trip Advisor

One-Star Reviews of Dry Tortugas National Park

“I wanted to die… I was counting the minutes to get back to the mainland.” – Caribcon on Trip Advisor

“Don’t waste your time unless you’re a birder… You probably can find better ways to spend your time.” – James B. on Trip Advisor

“Nothing to do over there but walk around.” – Sunchaser1965 on Trip Advisor

“When you get out there, you are stuck on a boring small island with no plumbing.” – Kelly P. on Trip Advisor

One-Star Reviews of Everglades National Park

“There’s actually nothing to see.” – John H. on Yelp

“We have never seen so many mosquitoes in our lives… I guess that’s the Everglades. I don’t recommend bringing children here either. They may get carried away by the bugs.” –  Veronica D. on Yelp

“…Once you’ve seen a few trees and lots of grass it’s all very samey…” – Fraser on Trip Advisor

“A big bore.” – Victorious2 on Trip Advisor

“What a waste of time. We followed all the signs wanting to make sure that we didn’t miss anything. There wasn’t anything to miss except mosquitoes and malaria. ” – Dee S. on Trip Advisor

One-Star Reviews of Gateway Arch National Park

“First off, the thing is ugly as sin. It looks like half of a McDonalds logo, or a giant urinal. The museum is only mildly amusing… And going up to the top of the Arch is the worst. There is nothing to see other than St. Louis’ ugly skyline which really looks like a generic skyline out of some cheap 80’s indie movie.” – Adam J. on Yelp

“Sucks plain & simple.. ” – John B. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Grand Canyon National Park

“Too big…” – Hannah M. on Yelp

“Went to the Grand Canyon this past week and let me tell YOU it’s a big ole waste o time! There was dirt EVERYWHERE and the hiking trail was too long! … Grand Canyon more like grand blandyon” – Gina M. on Yelp

“No plant, no life, it’s like a picture of death. ” – Sara L. on Yelp

“Not much different from pictures. Besides, the views are about the same everywhere.” – HikerJane on Trip Advisor

“Probably the worst tourist trap in America… No lift, no real chapel, no real movie theatre… You really know how to make a hole in the ground a hole in the ground…” – ArielExpression on Trip Advisor

“Look, don’t get me wrong, the views were ok…” – Tris C. on Trip Advisor

“It was just a pile of dirt and rocks. I think you would have more fun at a park with a little sand box and a couple of rocks and one of those cute cactuses…” – Owster101 on Trip Advisor

“Very disappointing 5 hour drive for a hole in the ground…” – Adrian M. on Trip Advisor

One-Star Reviews of Haleakala National Park

“I have no idea why anyone would rave so much about this stupid crater.” – Annie Z. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Hawaii Volcanoes National Park

“No signs of eruptions not even a single lava.” – Paul M. on Yelp

“Didn’t even get to touch lava.” – Sammi M. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Hot Springs National Park

“Save yourself the nonsense & go to a real hot mineral spring…” – Brittani E. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Joshua Tree National Park

“Desert, some flowers, some cactuses, some palm trees, but boring. Definitely not worth 30$.” – Genaro G. on Yelp

“There is no cell service throughout most of the park, which is just bogus; how are you supposed to message anyone to tell them you’re in Joshua Tree?” – Chris C. on Yelp

“This is a great place under two circumstances. 1) You’ve never been to any other National Park, or 2) You’ve been to nearly all of them and this is the last one you haven’t visited.” – Michael H. on Yelp

“A barren wasteland and waste of taxpayer money. I’ve been to 8 national parks, and this one stands out as the worst, easily. We went there expecting to spend a day hiking. We ended up barely getting out of the car. Pass.” – Chuck S. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Mammoth Cave National Park

“It’s cold, dark, damp and stinky!” – Anita P. on Yelp

“Just like walking in a big tunnel with not much to see.” – David S. on Yelp

“Nothing to see other than turkeys, deer, and forest. ” – Mike L. on Yelp

“Save your money, look at pictures online and go to a nice restaurant instead!” – Dan W. on Trip Advisor

One-Star Reviews of Mount Rainier National Park

“$20.00 to see nature” – Matua T. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Mount Rushmore National Memorial

“Not very good. kind of scary IMO. my little sister cried. do NOT bring kids to this thing.” – Dan L. on Yelp

“If you’re expecting to clearly see the faces of our founding fathers, go to google images.” – Glen C. on Yelp

“Not to downplay the achievements of the monument… but, it was really not that awesome. Seriously, you can only look at giant heads carved into the side of a mountain for so long. We drove across the country and through SD for this?” – Adam W. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Petrified Forest National Park

“Boring… Go visit other landmarks, such as the Grand Canyon. No shock and awe here.” – Karl B. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Pinnacles National Park

“This park is a joke… You think it belongs up there with Yosemite, Grand Canyon, and Yellowstone? All you have is Condors. That’s it.” – Tim G. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Rocky Mountain National Park

“It’s just boring!” – Christy K. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Sequoia National Park

“This place is dangerous. There are bears, mountain lions and worst of all, sketchy people… There are bugs and stuff, and they will bite you on your face… Anyways if I could give this place zero stars I would…” – Joe B. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Statue of Liberty National Monument

“If you enjoy waiting in line for 3 hours, getting on a boat, looking at a statue, and then waiting another 3 hours to get on a boat you would give it 5 stars but I didn’t think it was fun.” – Jake M. on Yelp

“Pretty bad.” – JNH on Help

One-Star Reviews of Yellowstone National Park

“I would give it 0 stars if I could… So the park itself is nothing grand there’s mountains, trees, and lakes. Nothing too spectacular.” – Kat C. on Yelp

“It’s like a bigger version of Central Park, only with bears.” –  Conspicuous C. on Yelp

One-Star Reviews of Yosemite National Park

“This is the biggest scam of a national park I’ve ever witnessed. You have to pay $35 just to get In and then it’s an hour of driving before you get to anything worthwhile. The views on the drive up are the same as in the park. My family and I will NOT be returning to this disgrace of a national park anytime soon. Very disappointed.” – Marc M. on Yelp

“Bugs! Smokey air! Green stuff and dirt everywhere! The outside world is so terrible. I’d rather spend all of my days cooped up in a glass box than go here again. If I were you, stay at the awanee and then get out of dodge. We didn’t even see any bears on our visit – how lame is that.” – David H. on Yelp

“Trees block views and too many grey rocks.” – Vern S. on Yelp

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Do you have any favorite one-star reviews of national parks to share? Leave them in the comments.